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WORK [11 Mar 2006|01:14pm]

zerael
a lot of people have asked me about what it is exactly that i mean by my work. well, much of this will remain unsaid, there are rules to follow for certain organizations. but i will say this, my work is important, not only to me (though there is never monetary gain)but to those who i do "work" for. individuals whose lives are upset by occurences beyond the sphere of their control or understanding. thats where i and others like me come in...

more of the workCollapse )
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SYMBOLOGY [09 Mar 2006|04:50pm]

zerael
there are secrets in every temple...to find them one only needs to investigate the subtle truths behind the unspoken things...not in words that "stay"....but in the pictures that move...


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


-Z
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And they call it free will..... [01 Mar 2006|09:47pm]

zerael
i was given a choice the other day. it was confirmed, verbally, that it was my decision and no one else's. yet the choice was already made. it is much like someone telling you that if you grab the red ball that they will shoot you in the head, and then telling you that the choice is yours to make. not a very good example of free will now is it.

the consequences of the choice weighed too heavily, or rather, i believed weighed too heavily and so i made my "choice" the antithesis to what desire was telling me to do...the "get out of jail free" card.

it all seems so worth it and easy when they say "all of your problems will disappear" yet refuse to tell you what the payment is....trust me, there is ALWAYS a payment....

theyre trying to get me because time is running out, take out as many as you can...

none of you realize how long ive waited for this...

...im not ready.




-Z
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The Refinery of Love [21 May 2006|10:10am]

heavendiaries
It's a very peaceful sunday morning here and so I would like to gather you all around me for a moment of peace and the sharing of Love.

Today, let's talk about the refinement of Love, the source, the corruption, the illusion and the return.


It is possible to recognize Love while still in the body. We get glimpses of it and sometimes we even think Love is available to us in it's entirety in human one-on-one Love. What makes us humans so great is our ability to feel Love...and in human relationship we touch upon the soul-beauty that is only the next step to the realization of Formless Love.

As long as we are physical (form) our conception of True Love (formless) will be limited.

There may even come a time when a human being taps into this wellspring and recognizes that, though it is almost unreachable on a full term basis, it still EXISTS as a power source and can be tapped into at will. These are the defining moments in a human being's life where they may question themselves as to WHY they are even here on earth. When human beings begin to question his/her purpose NOT because of their suffering, but but because of their recognition of LOVE...they are presented with the next step in their spiritual growth. It is at this juncture that a person has realization. Realization, within the physical realm can only lead to one thing. It is a task. To be in the body, means you are restricted, NO MATTER WHAT, to the realms of the physical. Even if you have surpassed all illusions, if you are human, then you must work on the human plane. And that leaves us ONE road. It is the road of service.

When we realize that our sufferings, our dramas, our misunderstandings, our illnesses....when we realize that these actions are not WHO WE ARE, but merely the 'things' that gave us the strength to find out who we are, we can then put things into perspective. When we can stand back and WITNESS our lives, even if for just a moment, as opposed to the usual perception of viewing our lives as 'living us', then we can see that we have a higher purpose.

We fall in love. We get sick. We deal with mental illness. We fear. We are paranoid. We feel unloved. We want more. we desire things. We lose friends. We face death... These common experiences are part of the human condition. All of it IS a condition. BUT... it is not US. We live life, life doesn't live us. When this body fails, we will return again in a new one to learn once again what form can bring us. When we realize that form exists so that our souls can grow stronger, we don't need to be so fearful anymore.

And then we can tend to the reason why we ARE here. Service. We have to serve our brothers and sisters. We have to remind others that their true nature is True Love. We are Love itself, and in knowing this we must leap over every hurdle there is...because nothing is free except Love. The road to Love is a seemingly unending routine of fire-rings and glassed paved journeys. But... it's not unending. It's there. But it takes many rings of fire to get to. Once we really SEE this, the rings of fire are also percieved as illusion.

We are not our pain. In fact, if we are really informed we should think of our sufferings as gifts, as GREAT blessings. Because if we can feel Love within the tornado of threat and illness... then we are near to absolution. We become beatific. Beatification is the miraculous transcended Love that occurs in the human being while suffering.

It is possible and it is our birthright.

So, honestly, whether you are born 'to peace and light' or to 'endless night' there is no difference. WE have one duty as humans and that is to serve our higher nature. And our higher nature is True Love.

True Love attracts True Love as well. Once you find yourself feeling Love, like a magnet you will attract those like you. Doubt attracts doubt. Fear attracts fear.

And deep, deep Love attracts deep, deep Love. Soulmates are found along these paths.


with great love and great respect, I welcome you all with all my heart.

I remain Yours,
~D
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The Ribbon Lie [23 Apr 2006|11:11am]

heavendiaries
This message has been inside of me for a very long while now. I simply could not contain it any longer. It is by no means new or even original, but it is pertinent nonetheless. It is of the nature of messages that once uttered cause a stir and then are sorrily forgotten, as I'm hoping this one is not.

I am finally understanding the spiritual meaning behind the cliche, 'the more I know the less I understand.' I realize that it takes an enormous effort to understand, and that any kind of understanding must take years of practice. Deciphering and unveiling, analysis and refinement... all part of the procedure of understanding.

One cannot utter this phrase glibly. The journey that brings one to the place where knowledge itself is unknowable is a long one and must be paved in both self-assurance and self-doubt.

And now, to my message, which is dual.

The road to enlightenment in this human form must go through the trial by fire. The fire lasts through many, many lifetimes and detachment is, of course, the final phase. An ongoing process, one that never ends once detachment is acheived. After detachment, a new phase begins, that of complete and total establishment in god-knowledge.

On the way to god-knowledge, our hunger for some semblance of an 'end' allows us to deceive ourselves into thinking we have a clue. But a clue is all we have, for to think we are 'there' simply because we read something special in a book that day would be mere folly.

My entire life has been dedicated to knowing god. I have lived both as an ascetic and as a householder. And what is happening to me now, personally, is that as I am finding myself torn in two. On one hand, I want to pray and meditate and dole out my compassion to anyone who needs it. On the other hand, I look into myself and realize that there's an unheard cry inside my soul. And, because I am willing to look at myself for all I am worth, I also realize that I cannot acheive a state of peace if I repress what I know now to be... anger. And so, whereas at one moment I wish the world peace, in another moment I want to watch it destroy itself. And a part of me gets giddy with laughter thinking about it.

Some people think I am an angel, some think I am a saint. What I see is that I am presently a human being living on a planet drenched in fear. What I see is intolerance. What I see is cowardice. What I see is cruelty. What I see is selfishness.

What I see is big business. And what I see is a lack of morals amongst individuals.

And now... my point.

Do not insult us anymore with your pink ribbons. Do not sell me a t-shirt with the twin towers and a rousing display of 'NYPD'. Pharmaceutical companies own the world...WAKE UP. Do not ask me to donate a portion of my postal stamp to cancer research. If you want to help fight cancer, write a check to the individual who is lying in the bed dying. Research? WAKE UP.

The cures exist. If you doubt me, then go feed your doctor another mercedes.
Avian Flu. Let's see... create a disease and offer a cure...BIG BUSINESS.
AIDS: create an epidemic, kill off what BIG BUSINESS considers 'undesirables' and slowly bring in expensive and toxic medicines that address the symptoms only.
Cancer... do you honestly thing that trillions of dollars and hundreds of years of research has come up with nothing? Interesting.

Chemotherapy is a vile and archaic torture akin to being in a concentration camp and being subject to chemical experiments. They downplay this to numb the masses and get them to purchase the drugs, which are more than $5000 per treatment. 8 treatments later... one year of lying in a nauseated coma, a cripple with no body hair... THIS is what they have to offer? THIS is what trillions of dollars of research buys the dying?

They say that only a small percentage of those who recieve chemotherapy have a violently allergic reaction. But they do not say that amongst that small group that the individual experiences that violent reaction 100%.

Besides the fact that it is NOT a small percentage.

We are fed lies by our government.
We are fed lies by doctors.
And out of FEAR, we bow down.

You bow down.

You have made your god FEAR.

You have made your god COWARDICE.

You have made so little of yourselves.

I say:

FEAR NOTHING. Make your government FEAR YOU. Make your doctor beg to heal you for free. Make your life worth something. Stand up for your rights. Stand up for yourselves. You're going to die anyway, so why fear death? Why spend your life in fear?

Don't give money to research. You don't know where that money goes. Don't wear cancer awareness ribbons...you don't know where the money goes. You want to support a cause? Then get in touch with someone who is what that cause is about. Don't just sit there thinking you're doing something by wearing a ribbon. It's doing nothing. It's just buying someone a trip to the bahamas.

Don't support the drug machines.

Take your spiritual knowledge and grow it into courage. I'd love to meditate this whole world into peace...but it's not going to happen by my doing it alone. I have to confront my demons, and my demons are big business and intolerance. As long as we are all not on the same exact spiritual level, there is going to be unrest.


the duality of this message:
don't repress your anger... it's there.
rid yourself of it by confronting it.

fear nothing, not even your own self.

Kwan Yin vowed to stay here and give compassion to every living thing, until the very last soul was enlightened...then she could return.

Let's help her out. Fight the fear inside you and do not let yourself be repressed, oppressed and beaten down by the lies of the mind.



~D
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REALIZATION [09 Mar 2006|08:51am]

zerael

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it is unfortunate that there are so many things occurring all over the universe that a consistent reminder is required before we pay attention. everyone, including myself falls prey to the over saturation of information these days and so many things are left undone. last night however, i was shaken to the very pit of my spirit. i watched a film, a documentary called "Tibet: Cry of the Snow Lion (2003)". it is about the chinese occupation of tibet and the horrors that the people there have had to endure ever since his Holiness the XIVth dalai lama, Tenzin Gyatso was forced to leave his home.
before seeing this, i could only imagine the human suffering that followed the systematic "ethnic cleansing" that was taking place in this holy land. i was far off from my perceptions, it was more disturbing and painful to my senses than i can describe here. the film took 10 years to complete, and i urge EVERYONE to run out and see it. remember "understanding brings control, knowledge is power".

i am calling out to all beings of compassion to spread this like fire throughout the world in a voice louder than the hatred being produced in the east by this so called "peaceful liberation" of tibet. spread it throughout the internet and write to your congressmen and spiritual leaders of the world, write to celebrities and heads of major corporations i dont care who as long as our message gets out there again...please do this for the people of tibet, let us make a real attempt to give them back the home they once knew, let them fly their flag again and welcome their spiritual leader home with open and loving arms. i beg this of you, prove to me that human beings still are capable of love.


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thank you deeply,
-Z

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Call for Prayer [27 Feb 2006|08:38am]

heavendiaries
I realize that most of the viewers of this journal are lurkers. I am happy that there ARE lurkers out there to read what we write here. And it is at this moment in time that I call upon those who lurk to gather up their precious positive energy and focus it, as a favour for me, for this moment...if you please.

With all of my heart, I ask you to concentrate deeply on sending my friend all of your loving energy. It will not reduce you in the slightest to give this love, in fact, it will come back to you a thousand fold.

I have a friend who is in great need of a positive change in his life and due to life's circumstances and it's pitfalls, I'm afraid the only thing we can do for him is pray with all of our hearts. In truth, this is the best thing we can do for him.

Details are unessential. All you need to do is have faith in your ability to heal and uplift with the power of your heartfelt prayer. Let's do this together, please. Let us together help a brother in need.

Thank you. I know I can count on you all.

~D
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The Ammunati [06 Feb 2006|06:24pm]

heavendiaries
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I chose "The Ammunati" but I also like:

"Alright. Enough with the Talk"

and also:

"Break's Over"

either way, it gives me hysterics just looking at it.
~D
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Truer words were never spoken.... [21 Jan 2006|10:43pm]

zerael
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.........even though this is from a fictional film, i cannot help but be able to hear an angel saying this....just before the rapture....


(taken from "Constantine"")


"You were handed this precious gift.
Each one of you granted redemption from the Creator.
Murderers, rapists and molesters....all of you, you just have to repent....and God takes you into his bosom.
In all the worlds in all the universe....no other creature can make such a boast, save Man.
It's not fair.
If sweet, sweet God loves you so....then I'll make you worthy of his love.
I've been watching you for a long time.
It's only in the face of horror that you truly find your nobler selves.
And you can be so noble.
So....
I'll bring you pain...
I'll bring you horror...
So that you may rise above it.
So that those of you who survive this reign Hell on earth....will be worthy of God's love."



....think about it.



-Z
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Canto I [18 Jan 2006|04:19am]

zerael
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1. And I looked into the distance and beheld a great void. It creeped as a serpent creeps and its sound was that of deafening thunder. It moved upon the face of the world like a pestilence and swallowed all hope.
2. In this place a voice spoke to me. And these words created images before me as in a dream. The voice was as a thousand tongues and brought me to my knees.
3. The voice spoke; “This is the way the world is murdered, this is the face of its abhorrition. This is the nameless faceless one who comes in the darkness to take.”
4. I looked and saw unfolding before me, a great red sea filled with the dead and the dying. The scent rose into my nostrils wet and decay and sulfur. To my horror, the dead as they passed wailing aloud to be saved. Screaming in agony as they ripped at each others flesh to stay afloat.
5. On the shores there, the banners of pestilence hissing in the thick air. The three rings, the box and the blindfolded beggar.
6. In the sky, a great lion clothed in fire hurling itself to the ground.
7. In the temple, the name on the wall. The verdict before the betrayal. The criminal named before the deed was committed.
8. The voice spoke again;” This is where the great upset begins, inside the frame is the answer, there is truth hidden in the walls.”
9. And I looked and before me was a grand city. At the center of this city, a great eight spoked wheel and a domed castle. 140 men watch over the great wheel and wait for the obelisk to call them to life.
10. There are things most unclean here. Within the bowels of this terrible city lies something in wait. That which must come to pass. That which will bear the mark of his arrival, and give the signing of his birth rite.
11. He will come with the creeping dark. He will come without knowing he has arrived. He will come to the world as its redeemer, and murder it.








-Z
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More Pictures... [11 Jan 2006|07:54pm]

zerael
a photo of the most wonderful woman on the planet holding our son Damien...






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...she is my muse, my sanity, my love.....i don't know what i would do without you my beloved Elizabeth....





a photo of Gabriel and i opening his presents X-mas morning.....notice the new short......"just got out of bed" hairdo.....

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-Z
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It's Alive!!!! [29 Dec 2005|09:13pm]

zerael
so, without further delay.....here's Damien....







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thanks for all of your blessings
-Z
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[24 Dec 2005|05:49am]

zerael
pictures coming soon...my digital camera is on the fritz....however....

little Damien Amon Collins was born Dec. 23 at 12:13 p.m.

welcome little guy...




-Z
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[24 Dec 2005|04:02am]

zerael
there is a moment when the torpid banner of this world falls away silently and once again, opens the dream. there is a song in the air, hushing the pain, brushing away the tear. there is a place that i dream of. where all anguish softly retreats and humbly gives way to love. as if knowing its quiet strength. a place where every moment is a legend to be recalled, every pace a jewel in the heart. in this, my quiet retreat, all dark things are forgotten, my wounds are healed and their scars fall from my flesh like autumn leaves. here there is beauty. here there is strength. here the only thing that subdues us is beauty. in this perfect moment i matter. in this eden i am found.
the breeze lightly caresses the burdens i carry and lift them from me. i walk through a field, the scent of hyacinth on the wind. a womans voice, a flash of brilliant light and shafts of angels feathers fall from the cerulean sky. there is a swelling in my chest and a relieving exhale. my sword is at rest, there is no need. the story begins anew.
here in this place, all the worlds dreams come to be and are set in motion to tell the story of a greater time. a time that never was, and never will be....except here. in this place that is not a place, in these daydreams i hold dear.

a tear races toward the earth.

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-Z
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For Q and Z~ [22 Nov 2005|11:46am]

heavendiaries
I tossed the coins for an I Ching reading for your present situation.

24. Fu / Return (The Turning Point)

six in the second says:
Return always calls for a decision and is an act of self-mastery. It is made easier if a man is in good company. If he can bring himself to put aside pride and follow the example of good men, good fortune results.

six in the fourth says this:
A man is in a society composed of inferior people, but connected spiritually with a good and strong friend. Although nothing is said of reward and punishment, this return is certainly favorable, for such a resolve to choose the good brings it's own reward.

Once again, my heart and thoughts are always with you. With love and respect-
~D

+++
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[31 Oct 2005|02:50pm]

heavendiaries
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I'm back, and yeah...it's been hell. Still no power but internet...we shall see if it lasts. Did this drawing last night and yeah, I'm in THAT kind of mood.

blessings...
~D
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Smiling... [31 Oct 2005|12:53am]

zerael
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-Z
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Public service Announcement [28 Oct 2005|03:56pm]

zerael
for those of you wondering about dori...

the chaos has apparently subsided in florida and now they are simply dealing with the aftermath of the storm. they have no power and it is estimated that they will not have power again until november 22. i hope this is not the case. dori, her daughter and ray are fine. there is of course the issue of boredom, though thankfully this is their only concern right now.

to all of her friends and acquaintances, again, dori is well and will be up and running again as soon as possible. if you wish to contact her, or relay a BRIEF message, do so to this post and i will relay it to her when i speak to her again (in the next few days).

thank you and godspeed,
-Z
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[25 Oct 2005|10:30am]

zerael
this saturday i will be performing a house cleansing for Q before he and his family move into their new home. i have not been in the house yet, so i do not know what to expect. there is a small chance that there will be something already in residence there. however, usually this just consists of energy "leftovers" from the previous tenants. so first i'll need to run a check of the place to denote exactly what needs to be done (if anything) before the cleansing and blessings are done on the property. hopefully all will go smoothly.

there has been a lapse in information from my sources as of late. seems everyone is preoccupied with something. i wish i knew what it was...

i suppose that i will know when i am meant to, and not a moment before , as per the usual...




-Z
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Ego Disclaimer... [22 Oct 2005|09:24am]

zerael
in recent months i have been bombarded with the ego of others. their pseudo-elitism on any matter spiritual or temporal leaves me with the urge to vomit. the incessant bashing of others belief systems when it is clearly the HUMAN that is making the mistakes...not the practice itself. and so up pops another spiritual fad that the "cool" spiritualists can lay claim to with all the fervent malaise their rotting sense of awareness can muster. now they can once again turn and shout aloud "my way is better than yours" and race to claim their minions with the unabashed frenzy of a starving dog.

well, i would just like to clear a few things up about myself.....


the more i learn, the more i realize,....i know nothing...
i am not important, my soul is.
i do not need others to understand me in order for my actions to be justified.
my way is no better or worse than yours.
i do not have all the answers, if i did......i wouldnt need to be on this plane learning would i?
i am not beautiful, my connection to God is.
i am ALWAYS a student...sometimes passing on knowledge to others as i learn.
do not look at me, look at what i do. the message is far more important than the messenger.
i do what i do out of love, not because my hand was influenced by someone's ego.


a wake up call is required for these self-proclaimed "masters" whose online degree has become far too saturated with the perjury they enshrine. i say out with the new disease, in with the old integrity. learn to laugh at your mistakes and learn from them instead of attempting to save face with the old "i meant to do that". learn that you are not perfect, and at times you will fail or fall short of your intent. the wisdom and courage here is admitting error...examining it....and getting back up to try again. there is no shame in truth....how about we start using it.....


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-Z
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